Two major variables:
When considering the dimensions of parenting styles
and the child outcomes, Baumrind and others tend to focus on 2 major
characteristics. (1) Responsiveness of the parent to
the child. This includes being reasonable and nurturant and providing
supportive feedback to the child; (2) Demandingness
of the parent for the child to comply with established rules and
expectations. When these 2 variables are considered (in the chart
above), we gain a better understanding of the resulting Styles of
These parents love their children, hope the best for
them, and have high expectations in terms of compliance to adult
direction and school success. They expect their children to do well in
school, in sports, in arts, and in society in general. These parents
tend to be reasonable in how much they expect and in how they support
the child's development and behavior. They tend to provide warmth and
nurturance as they respond to the child. They also encourage the child
to understand the issues, values, and expectations of the parent. They
talk, discuss, provide feedback, allow for cooperation and
collaboration, as they try to convince the child to voluntarily comply
with the parent. This process of inducing voluntary compliance is
Induction tends to be the control technique used by Authoritative
parents. In other words, these parents are high on demandingness and
high on responsiveness.
Children of these parents tend to be more well adjusted in life and
more successful in school.
These parents love their children, hope the best for them, and have
high expectations in terms of compliance to adult direction and school
success. They expect their children to do well in school, in sports,
in arts, and in society in general. These parents, however, tend to be
unreasonable in their expectations and unresponsive to the child's
developmental needs. Compliance to parental authority seems to be of
great importance, at the sacrifice of the child's understanding of the
issues and values. "You don't need to understand, you only need
to comply!" seems to be the motto of the strict authoritarian.
These parents tend to rely heavily on the use of "Coercion"
to force the child's compliance. Coercion includes the use of threat,
intimidation, physical punishment, fear, and love withdrawal. In other words,
these parents are high on demandingness but low on responsiveness.
Children of these parents tend to be more anxious, withdrawn, and
unhappy. They also tend to have more difficulty with peer
relationships (hostility and aggression) which often results in
problems in school. Due to the lack of parental support and responsive
interaction, academic skills are often less than desired.
These parents love their children, hope the best for them, but do not
provide specific direction in terms of expectations and rules for
compliance. Children are often left to decide for themselves what they
will do. Although these parents may be warm and nurturant and
reasonably responsive to the physical and emotional needs of the
child, they do not provide the guidance support that children need. In
other words, these parents are low on demandingness and range from low
to high on responsiveness.
Children of these parents tend to be the least mature when compared
to children from the other parenting styles. They tend to be
self-centered, impulsive, disobedient, and rebellious.
From Wikipedia, the free
A parenting style is a psychological
construct representing standard strategies that parents use in their child
rearing. There are many differing theories and opinions on the
best ways to rear children, as well as differing levels of time and
effort that parents are willing to invest.
Parental investment starts soon after birth. This includes the process
of birth, breast-feeding, affirming the value of the baby’s cry as
Many parents create their own style from a combination of factors,
and these may evolve over time as the children develop their own
personalities and move through life's stages.
Parenting style is affected by both the parents' and children's
temperaments, and is largely based on the influence of one’s own
parents and culture. "Most parents learn parenting practices from
their own parents — some they accept, some they discard."
The degree to which a child's education
is part of parenting is a further matter of debate.
of child rearing
One of the best known theories of parenting
style was developed by Diana
She proposed that parents fall into one of three categories: authoritarian
(telling their children exactly what to do), indulgent
(allowing their children to do whatever they wish), or authoritative
(providing rules and guidance without being overbearing). The theory
was later extended to include negligent parents (disregarding
the children, and focusing on other interests).
A number of ethical parenting styles have been proposed,
some based on the authoritarian model of strict obedience to
scriptural law (for example in the Bible),
others based on empathy with the emotional state of a child.
The intensity of parental involvement remains a matter of debate.
At opposite extremes are Slow
parenting in which parents stand back, merely supporting their
children in doing what they want to do as independent individuals (but
guiding them when the children are not developing healthy attitudes),
cultivation in which children are driven to attend a maximum
number of lessons and organised activities, each designed to teach
them a valuable skill which the parent has decided for them.
Beginning in the 17th century, two philosophers independently wrote
works that have been widely influential in child rearing. John
Locke's 1693 book Some
Thoughts Concerning Education is a well known foundation for
educational pedagogy from a Puritan
standpoint. Locke highlights the importance of experiences to a
child's development, and recommends developing their physical habits
first. In 1762, the French philosopher Jean-Jacques
Rousseau published a volume on education, Emile:
or, On Education.
He proposed that early education should be derived less from books and
more from a child's interactions with the world. Of these, Rousseau
is more consistent with slow
parenting, and Locke
is more for concerted
Other theorists, mainly from the twentieth century, have focused on
how children develop and have had a significant impact on childhood
education and how parents rear their children.
of cognitive development describes how children represent and
reason about the world.
This is a developmental
stage theory that consists of a Sensorimotor stage, Preoperational
stage, Concrete operational stage, and Formal
operational stage. Piaget was a pioneer in the field of child
development and continues to influence parents, educators and other
Erikson, a developmental psychologist, proposed eight
life stages through which each person must develop. In each stage,
they must understand and balance two conflicting forces, and so
parents might choose a series of parenting styles that helps each
child as appropriate at each stage. The first five of his eight stages
occur in childhood: The virtue of hope requires balancing trust
with mistrust, and typically occurs from birth to one year old. Will
balances autonomy with shame and doubt around the ages of two to
three. Purpose balances initiative with guilt around the ages
of four to six years. Competence balances industry against
inferiority around ages seven to 12. Fidelity contrasts
identity with role confusion, in ages 13 to 19. The remaining adult
virtues are love, care and wisdom.
Dreikurs believed that pre-adolescent children's misbehaviour was
caused by their unfulfilled wish to be a member of a social group. He
argued that they then act out a sequence of four mistaken goals: first
they seek attention. If they do not get it, they aim for power,
then revenge and finally feel inadequate. This theory is
used in education as well as parenting, forming a valuable theory upon
which to manage misbehaviour. Other parenting techniques should also
be used to encourage learning and happiness.
Furedi is a sociologist with a particular interest in parenting
and families. He believes that the actions of parents are less
decisive than others claim. He describes the term infant
as the determination of a person's life prospects by what happens to
them during infancy, arguing that there is little or no evidence for
its truth. While other commercial, governmental and other interests
constantly try to guide parents to do more and worry more for their
children, he believes that children are capable of developing well in
almost any circumstances. Furedi quotes Steve Petersen of Washington
University in St. Louis: "development really wants to happen. It
takes very impoverished environments to interfere with development ...
[just] don't raise your child in a closet, starve them, or hit them on
the head with a frying pan."
Similarly, the journalist Tim Gill has expressed concern about
aversion by parents and those responsible for children in his book
This aversion limits the opportunities for children to develop
sufficient adult skills, particularly in dealing with risk, but also
in performing adventurous and imaginative activities.
In 1998, independent scholar Judith
Rich Harris published The
Nurture Assumption, in which she argued that scientific
evidence especially behavioral
genetics showed that all different forms of parenting do not have
significant effects on children's development, short of cases of
severe abuse or neglect. The purported effects of different forms of
parenting are all illusions caused by heredity, the culture at large,
and children's own influence on how their parents treat them.
general parenting styles
Baumrind (1966) became particularly interested in the connection
between the parental behavior and the development of instrumental
competence, which refers to the ability to manipulate the environment
to achieve ones goals. In her research, she found what she
considered to be the four basic elements that could help shape
successful parenting: responsiveness vs. unresponsiveness and
demanding vs. undemanding. From these, she identified three general
parenting styles: authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive.
Maccoby and Martin expanded the styles to four: authoritative,
authoritarian, indulgent and neglectful in 1983.
These four styles of parenting involve combinations of acceptance and
responsiveness on the one hand and demand and control on the other.
|Maccoby and Martin's Four Parenting Styles
Baumrind's Three Parenting Styles
Baumrind believed that parents should be neither punitive nor
Rather, they should develop rules for their children and be
affectionate with them. These parenting styles are meant to describe
normal variations in parenting, not deviant parenting, such as might
be observed in abusive
Most parents do not fall neatly in one category, but fall somewhere in
the middle, showing characteristics of more than one style.
The parent is demanding and responsive. When this
style is systematically developed, it grows to fit the descriptions propagative
parenting and concerted
Authoritative parenting, also called 'assertive democratic'
or 'balanced' parenting,
is characterized by a child-centered approach that holds high
expectations of maturity.
Authoritative parents can understand how their children are feeling
and teach them how to regulate
feelings. They often help their children to find appropriate outlets
to solve problems. Authoritative parents encourage children to be
independent but still place controls
and limits on their actions.
Extensive verbal give-and-take is not refused, and parents try to be
warm and nurturant toward the child.
Authoritative parents are not usually as controlling as authoritarian
parents, allowing the child to explore more freely, thus having them
make their own decisions based upon their own reasoning. Often,
authoritative parents produce children who are more independent and
An authoritative parenting style mainly results when there is high
parental responsiveness and high parental demands.
Authoritative parents will set clear standards for their children,
monitor the limits that they set, and also allow children to develop
autonomy. They also expect mature, independent, and age-appropriate
behavior of children. Punishments for misbehavior are measured
and consistent, not arbitrary or violent.
Authoritative parents set limits and demand maturity, but when
punishing a child, the parent will explain his or her motive for their
punishment. Children are more likely to respond to authoritative
parenting punishment because it is reasonable and fair. A child knows
why they are being punished because an authoritative parent makes the
reasons known. They are attentive to their children’s needs
and concerns, and will typically forgive and teach instead of
punishing if a child falls short.
This is supposed to result in children having a higher self
esteem and independence because of the give-take nature of the
authoritative parenting style. This is the most recommended style of
parenting by child-rearing experts.[citation
needed] Authoritative parenting commonly leads
children to have higher academic achievement and fewer behavioral
The parent is demanding but not responsive. Elaborate
becomes totalitarian parenting.
Authoritarian parenting, also called strict parenting,
is characterized by high expectations of conformity and compliance to
parental rules and directions, while allowing little open dialogue
between parent and child. Authoritarian parenting is a restrictive,
punitive parenting style in which parents make their children follow
their directions and respect their work and effort.
Authoritarian parents expect much of their child, but generally do not
explain the reasoning for the rules or boundaries.
Authoritarian parents are less responsive to their child’s needs,
and are more likely to ground their child rather than discuss the
Authoritarian parenting deals with low parental responsiveness and
high parental demand, the parents tend to demand obedience without
explanation and focus on status.
Children resulting from this type of parenting may have less social
competence because the parent generally tells the child what to do
instead of allowing the child to choose by him or herself.
Nonetheless, researchers have found that in some cultures and ethnic
groups, aspects of authoritarian style may be associated with more
positive child outcomes than Baumrind expects. "Aspects
of traditional Asian child-rearing practices are often continued
by Asian American families. In some cases, these practices have been
described as authoritarian."
If the demands are pushed too forcefully upon the child, the child may
break down, rebel, or run away.It may even lead them to suicidal
thoughts thinking that is their only way out.
The parent is responsive but not demanding.
Indulgent parenting, also called permissive, nondirective or
is characterized as having few behavioral expectations for the child.
"Indulgent parenting is a style of parenting in which parents are
very involved with their children but place few demands or controls on
Parents are nurturing and accepting, and are very responsive to the
child's needs and wishes. Indulgent parents do not require children to
regulate themselves or behave appropriately. This may result in
brats or "spoiled sweet" children depending on the
behavior of the children.
Children of permissive parents may tend to be more impulsive, and
as adolescents, may engage more in misconduct, and in drug use.
"Children never learn to control their own behavior and always
expect to get their way."
But in the better cases they are emotionally secure, independent and
are willing to learn and accept defeat. They mature quickly and are
able to live life without the help of someone else..
Children of permissive parents tend to have lower academic achievement
levels than children of authoritative and authoritarian parents.
From a recent study,
- The teens least prone to heavy drinking had authoritative
parents who scored high on both accountability and warmth.
- So-called 'indulgent' parents, those low on accountability and
high on warmth, nearly tripled the risk of their teen
participating in heavy drinking.
- 'Strict parents' or authoritarian parents – high on
accountability and low on warmth – more than doubled their
teen’s risk of heavy drinking.
But as previously noted, the usefulness of these data are limited,
as they are only correlational and can not rule out effects such as
personality correlations (people with the personality that makes them
become permissive parents, despite recommendations not to be, may also
have the personality to encourage heavy drinking in some other way),
heredity (permissive parents and their children share the personality
to be hands-off and are likely to be less driven as their
authoritarian counterparts), child-to-parent effects (unfocused and
unmanageable children might discourage their parents from trying too
hard), and local shared cultural values (that may not emphasize
The parent is neither demanding nor responsive.
Cannot be elaborated.
Neglectful parenting is also called uninvolved, detached,
dismissive or hands-off.
The parents are low in warmth and control, are generally not involved
in their child's life, are disengaged, undemanding, low in
responsiveness, and do not set limits. Neglectful parenting can also
mean dismissing the children's emotions and opinions. Parents are
emotionally unsupportive of their children, but will still provide
their basic needs. Provide basic needs meaning: food, housing,
and toiletries or money for the prementioned.
Neglectful parenting can stem from a variety of reasons, this includes
the parent's prioritizing themselves, lack of encouragement on the
parent's parts, financial stresses, lack of support and addiction to
Children whose parents are neglectful develop the sense that other
aspects of the parents’ lives are more important than they are. Many
children of this parenting style often attempt to provide for
themselves or halt depending on the parent to get a feeling of being
independent and mature beyond their years.
Parents, and thus their children, often display contradictory
behavior. Children become emotionally withdrawn from social
situations. This disturbed attachment also impacts relationships later
on in life. In adolescence, they may show patterns of truancy and
A study done by Maccoby and Martin (1983) analyzed adolescents,
aged 14– 18 in four areas: psychosocial development, school
achievement, internalized distress, and problem behaviour. The study
found that those with neglectful parents scored the lowest on these
tests, while those with authoritative parents scored the highest.
What may be right for one family or one child may not be suitable
for another. With authoritarian and permissive (indulgent) parenting
on opposite sides of the spectrum, most conventional and modern models
of parenting fall somewhere in between. The model or style that
parents employ depends partly on how they themselves were reared, what
they consider good parenting, the child's temperament, their current
environmental situation, and whether they place more importance on
their own needs or whether they are striving to further their child's
future success. Parents who place greater importance on the child's
physical security may be more authoritarian, while parents who are
more concerned with intellectual development may push their children
into a number of organized extra-curricular activities such as music
and language lessons.
parenting – Seeks to create strong emotional bonds,
avoiding physical punishment and accomplishing discipline through interactions
recognizing a child's emotional needs all while focusing on holistic
of the child.
parenting – Very similar to attachment
parenting but in addition, recognises the impact of stress and
the need to release stress by crying and raging in the accepting,
loving presence of the parent.
parenting – The application of biblical
principles on parenting, mainly in the United States. While some
Christian parents follow a stricter and more authoritarian
interpretation of the Bible, others are "grace-based"
and share methods advocated in the attachment
parenting and positive
parenting theories. Particularly influential on opposite sides
have been James
Dobson and his book Dare to Discipline,
Sears who has written several parenting books including The
Complete Book of Christian Parenting & Child Care and The
cultivation – A style of parenting that is marked by the
parents' attempts to foster their child's talents through
organized leisure activities. This parenting style is commonly
exhibited in middle and upper class American families.
- Emotion coaching – This style of parenting lays out a loving,
nurturing path for raising happy, well-adjusted, well-behaved
children. It’s called emotion coaching and it feels good to
parents and kids alike. Emotion coaching helps teach your child
how to recognize and express the way he is feeling in an
parenting – A family model where children are expected to
explore their surroundings with protection from their parents.
– Parents who try to involve themselves in every aspect of their
child's life, often attempting to solve all their problems. A helicopter
parent is a colloquial, early 21st-century term for a parent
who pays extremely close attention to his or her children's
experiences and problems, and attempts to sweep all obstacles out
of their paths, particularly at educational institutions.
Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they
hover closely overhead. It is a form of overparenting.
For Everyone – A parenting book and one individual's
philosophy that discusses parenting from an ethical point of view.
by Connection - A parenting approach taught by Hand in Hand
Parenting that nurtures the parent child relationship. Research
shows that it is a well connected relationship between a parent
and child that leads to the best outcomes for young people. Unlike
parenting methods that rely on systems of rewards and punishment,
our philosophy is centered on children's strong, innate desire to
love and be loved. Parenting by Connection is based on listening
tools for children and parents, such as playlistening,
staylistening, special time, setting limits with warmth and
listening partnerships for parents.
based - Punishment based parenting uses pain, punishment,
intimidation, yelling, degradation, humiliation, shame, guilt, or
other things that can hurt a child's self-esteem or hurt them
physically. Their emotional growth and well being are affected
greatly. Punishment based discipline hurts the relationship
between parent and child.Punishment will put unnecessary pressure
on the child and the child is less apt to perform due to pressure.
Parenting/Shared Earning where two married parents share the
responsibility of parenting relatively equally and the
responsibility of earning money relatively equally.
parenting – Encourages parents to plan and organise less for
their children, instead allowing them to enjoy their childhood and
explore the world at their own pace.
parenting – An authoritarian approach, places a strong value
on discipline and following inflexible rules as a means to survive
and thrive in a harsh world.
Children Seriously – The central idea of this movement is
that it is possible and desirable to raise and educate children
without doing anything to them against their will, or making them
do anything against their will.
No one parenting style is “right” and all other parenting
styles “wrong.” Parenting is a lifelong job of trials and errors
and hindsight is always 20/20. All parents must decide for themselves
how to raise their children, there are no fixed rules, no written
instructions, and no operator’s manual. No two kids are alike. What
works for one child may not work for another. There are situations in
each of our lives that influence the way we choose to do things,
consciously and subconsciously. This includes parenting. How we were
raised, when we were raised, and where we were raised are all factors
that play an important role in childrearing. Parents should be
open-minded to the choices other parents make, learn about the
parenting styles of other cultures and consider if there aren’t
things we could be doing differently (Small, 1998). “Parents of all
cultures should be able to learn from one another” (Chua, 2011).